Rebuilding Lindsay Lohan

Manolo says, the Lindsay Lohan debacle has reminded the Manolo of the entire Britney Spears rolling fiasco of three years ago.

At the peak of this man-made disaster, the Manolo had the few concrete suggestions to help Britney regain her self-respect and dignity.

So, the Manolo must now prescribe the radical making over.

Britney Spears must, like the astronaut Steve Austin, be rebuilt from the ground up. Her closet must be emptied, her hats and shifts and frilly scanties must be burnt to ashes, and she must be guided by someone much smarter and more capable than she.

Who would this person be?

The Manolo the Shoeblogger, who else?

Of the course, the Manolo Plan for Personal Style is not the quickie fifteen minute daytime television make-over. It is something more akin to the arduous Kung Fu training, involving dedication, long hours of practice, and the seriousness of intent.

There would be books to be read, and movies to be watched, and lessons in elocution and deportment and how to sit like the lady…

Of the course, at this point, the Manolo would probably settle for getting her to regularly wear the underpants.

And this is more or less what the Doctor Manolo would prescribe for La Lohan (after the several week long course of detoxification).

Ideally, the Manolo would send Lindsay Lohan off to college for the few years, preferably in Kansas or Minnesota, to be among ordinary peoples with ordinary aspirations. There she could be exposed to books and ideas, and perhaps develop some notion of having to work for something you want. Not that college is for everyone, but she is much smarter than average, and only 23, so it is not too late.

But, of the course, it will not happen.

Lindsay Lohan will instead most likely spiral downward until she hits bottom. If she survives, she will recover some measure of self, but her career is sadly now that of Tatum O’Neal, when it could have been maybe that of Jody Foster, or at the least Claire Danes.

As the Manolo said earlier, it is all so sad-making.