How to dress for a summer event

It’s a question of thinking, ‘Is this strapless minidress appropriate for a 3 o’clock wedding in Shropshire?’

I know it’s summer when I see them prepping the Royal Hospital for the Chelsea Flower Show. It’s when I start hugging myself with glee at the thought of all the ill-advised outfits that will soon be paraded across my manor by those who should know better. The sort of people who go to the smart parties at Chelsea are the sort of people who have money; an amazing number of them are proof that it has not bought them taste, or even common sense. Flower shows are no place for flower prints. You are not being witty, you are just competing with the wisteria, and the wisteria is winning.

Conversely, what looks good at Chelsea should stand the rest of us in pretty good stead at any summer event. First, some ground rules: struggling with anything you’re wearing is deeply unattractive. That means hats that blow away, sling-backs that slip, straps that fall off your shoulders. No, no, no. If it fits properly, it shouldn’t do that.

Spikes are obviously problematic if your day out is going to feature turf. Some people advocate wedges; I advocate finding a nice bit of path to stand on instead. True, Sod’s law decrees that it will be gravel – hardly the stiletto’s friend, but better that than ugly wedges or swaying inelegantly on the greensward.

Being cold is uncool, and we are all too old for it. It is a sad truth that the only people who are ever too hot at weddings are men. Churches are always cold, ditto marquees, ditto this whole benighted country once the sun’s gone down. Emigrate, or prepare accordingly. Wear a jacket, thermal underwear, a pashmina (though, please, not a cheap, flimsy one – N. Peal does cashmere scarves for £99 and shawls for £149), long sleeves, something, anything. These also have the desirable effect of covering up excess flesh – a much underrated summer virtue. It’s not a question of being prudish, it’s a question of thinking, “Is this strapless minidress appropriate for a 3 o’clock wedding in Shropshire?” For the record, the answer’s no.

Whistles has so many dresses you can hardly fail to find one to suit and, although I have doubts about the ruffle round the hem, Yasmin Le Bon’s pink knitted dress for Wallis (£120, pictured; would take you pretty much anywhere, and her oyster suede jacket (£120) might keep you warm. Gap and Asos are also good for jackets, and Joseph’s off-white cargo twill (£425; 020-7610 8441) is a good multitasker. (For what it’s worth, I have Serious Issues with Joseph’s prices, but the cost-per-wear of a jacket like this will be very, very low.)

Hats, sadly, seem to have pretty much bitten the dust at most events, but if you’re lucky enough to have an excuse, wear it right: don’t have it perched on the back of your head – pull it forward, and down. Think sassy, not mobcap. And don’t, I beg of you, be tempted by a fascinator. I do not lightly dismiss an accessory as stupid and pointless, but fascinators are both. Just say no.